- There are 15 “significant” things one should know about their partner after six months together.
- That’s according to Portland-based therapist Jeff Guenther, whose TikTok on the topic went viral.
- He also said it’s “fine” to be attracted to another while in a committed monogamous relationship.
From knowing what their favorite TV show is to who their best friends are, there are some things everyone should know about their partner just six months into a relationship.
Posting under the TikTok username @therapyjeff, he rattled off 15 “small but very significant things” he thinks one should know about their partner after dating for six months. Here they are:
- How do they want to celebrate their birthday?
- How much alone time, if any, do they need?
- What’s their favorite food?
- What turns them on and gets them in the mood?
- How long do they need to get ready and head out the door?
- What’s their favorite TV show, movie, and band?
- What’s their most controversial take?
- Who’s their best friend, and why?
- What family member triggers them the most?
- What will instantly make them laugh?
- What’s their biggest insecurity?
- What’s the best way to support them when they’re stressed or upset?
- What do they ultimately want from this relationship?
- What do they allow themselves to splurge on financially?
- What’s their biggest guilty pleasure?
The video drew more than 2,400 comments, with many people adding their own requirements to the list.
“Do they fart every five minutes? If I’d known this 22 years ago, it would have been a dealbreaker. And I’m serious,” one user commented.
“How they process anger. I want to be LEFT ALONE to process & ONLY THEN talk. Don’t force me to open up when I don’t yet know what I’m feeling,” another person said.
Guenther, a practicing therapist of 17 years, told Insider that the list of questions “might seem silly or unimportant on their own, but when put together can give you an intimate picture of who the person really is.”
“You most likely won’t be able to answer all the questions, so it’s also a fun little exercise that creates more closeness if you go through the list with your sweetie,” he said.
There was more controversy surrounding another viral TikTok he posted last month, where he said that it’s “fine” if you find yourself attracted to someone else while in a committed monogamous relationship.
“If you think about what it would be like to date them or hook up with them, that’s fine. It doesn’t mean you’re not madly in love and hot for your partner, and it doesn’t automatically have to be a red flag that signifies something is wrong with you or the relationship you’re in,” he said in the video, which received more than 2.2 million views.
“Being attracted to lots of different people is natural and it’s not going to magically go away just because you’re in love with someone. There are a ton of hot people in the world, and it’s okay to sometimes think about what it would be like to be with them,” he continued.
The video sparked wide debate, with many people condemning his point of view.
“Normalizing being attracted to other people is like opening the first door to cheat in our minds. It’ll happen in real life eventually,” one person commented.
Guenther told Insider that he was surprised at first but how “triggering” the video had been.
“But it made sense after I thought about it a little more. It’s incredibly threatening to imagine your partner being attracted to another person. All of a sudden it feels like your relationship is at risk. That’s why I wanted to normalize this perfectly regular feeling,” he said.
He also explained in a follow-up TikTok that there was a difference between feeling some attraction and letting those feelings take over.
“If you can’t stop thinking about other people, that could be a problem. If you act on those urges, of course, that’s not okay if you agreed to be in a monogamous relationship,” he said.
Courtesy By INSIDER